Sunday, November 20, 2011

Q's and Life

I was never that girl who wanted to get married in a young age. It's nothing against those who got married young, it's just not something that I want. On my second year of my relationship with my hubby (boyfriend, at that time), I remember my mom kept on pushing me to get married and I kept on telling her that it's not the time yet. It's not because I was having doubt, but more to the fact that I just don't wanna get married yet, I was not sure whether it had something to do with mom and dad pampered me too much that I was having a very good time on being single, or I was just one of those people who had these weird thoughts that wedding will just change everything.

On the third year of our relationship, he proposed. Of course, I said yes. Even though hesitation of having him to spend the rest of my life with never crossed my mind, still as I prepared my wedding, there was a slightly fear of how my life will be once I'm married. At that time, I was thinking how can I be someone's wife when at some point I am still childish, how marriage will change my life, will I still be having my own me time, and the biggest questions... will my marriage life be better than my single life? All those Q's... all those worries.    

And today, 20 - 11 - 2011, is our 1 year wedding anniversary. As I looked back who I was as a single woman, all those questions and worries I have back then, I realize all were just process. As much as I love him, as much as I have faith on having him as my husband, but still marriage life is a new life, something that was natural for a woman to have fear of before we experience it our self, when those WIFE title attached on us. At that time, by God's blessing, we know that we made a right decision. I know I am. I'm not here to say that I have a perfect marriage. I always think that the definition of perfect is different for everyone and if we want to compete with the actual definition of perfect, there will be no end to that, as someone will always have more than us, more money, bigger house, more family traveling time, and goes on. To me, I am satisfied by having a perfect marriage in my own definition. My husband makes me laugh and constantly do his best to make me happy, to me it's enough to be called perfect.

I am not someone who likes to make a big fuss on how stupidly in love I am, or how great is my partner is, believe me I'm just not. All those tweeting and status updates on FB and BBM to show the world how my feeling at the moment is simply just not me. I am quite secretive, but you know what... screw it... Today is my wedding anniversary and I've been having a blast, so I am going to say this: 

I love you dear, always have... always will. Happy 1 year anniversary!

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